Culture is not natural, it is a choice

How often don't we get into debates about definitions of culture and the need to preserve culture; or that an action or statement insults someone's culture.  To me, culture reflects a set of beliefs ... but these beliefs are variable and changing, they not natural and fixed as absolute truth, they are choices that we make.  As children we are socialized into our cultures including behaviours, language and religion but along our life’s journey we have to keep making a choice about whether to maintain those socialized beliefs or follow a different set of beliefs, beliefs that have meaning for us and the world in which we live.  So many of our inherited beliefs don't serve us today - many of our parents beliefs desperately need to be discarded, beliefs around sexism, racism, xenophobia, religious intolerance, political dogma, etc.  Rather than perpetuate outdated modes of thinking and behaviour, we need to make informed choices about what serves us today.  This is why we are seeing sweeping changes to political regimes, great tolerance, relaxation of restrictions on same-sex marriage, abolition of racist regimes like Apartheid in South Africa and so on.  So much of what we call culture and hold onto so dearly at the expense of all else is actually arbitrary functions of the place, time and context in which we are born and raised, just as nationality is.  We should not define ourselves based on arbitrary factors or allow these arbitrary factors to stand between two people.  Our history divides us ... religious history, national history, mythical history ... these all divide us, but what unites us is our common vision of better lives we hope for.  As adults we need to throw off the cloak inherited from our parents and think for ourselves, decide for ourselves what we choose to believe and how we choose to live; unburdened by loyalties and obligations of a historical culture, we are able to see man as man, and find unity in our pursuits of harmony and prosperity.  Lets refuse to be drawn into the battles of our parents and grandparents, lets define our own society, based on how we experience each other, not inherited myths.

What a man eats ...

That Hitler and Gandhi were both vegetarians suggests that the evil or good that man does is not determined by what is in his stomach, but what is in his heart.

WE RISE

WE RISE

(Written with sadness and hope after the Boston Marathon bombings on April 15, 2013)

Watch the video of WE RISE

Ambulance sirens scream
louder, more chaotic shrieks
than normal … (normal?)
like they too have shock and anger
swirling in their shattered hearts.
They fade into weak wailing
cries of mourning mothers,
mothers of the fallen,
all our mothers. 

And then empty silence …
that we fill with silent embraces
just to feel closeness,
as if to remind our spirits
that humanity still exists
albeit tainted tonight. 

In the cold darkness, love,
love smiles its warmness,
its hopeful light, love,
our gentlest healer,
our greatest need,
our best response.

The fallen will rise,
with love,
we all will rise.

The greatness of humanity

There is no point being spiritually enlightened while watching others being trampled on. True spiritual enlightenment links us to each other and compels us to lift the spirits of others. We need people who believe in something beyond themselves; people who are strong, people who are living full lives, people who believe in the greatness of humanity and its oneness.

We must all seek to grow in understanding and live larger lives, seeking to inspire those around us to live larger lives as well.  But even a world of enlightened people, living large lives, does not complete the dream of human greatness if we are all isolated; our greatness will come when we holds hands, all around the world, in unity.

A simple equation for human prosperity

APART = SUFFERING ; TOGETHER = PROSPERITY

Sad, smiling

Large, small

African, Asian

Man, woman

 

Taking, giving

Apart, together

Suffering, Prosperity

When we legitimise hatred ...

When we legitimise hatred ... hatred flourishes.  When we outlaw hatred, hatred is stemmed, it becomes private and some even rid themselves of it.  When we encourage love, hatred has no place and evaporates like dew on a hot summer’s morning.  Let me give an example of what I mean by 'love' here so as not to look like a cheesy greeting card writer ... I am a proponent of limiting the weight given to difference, not to eradicate or deny difference but to ensure that it matters less than we have been led to believe it does, to lower the barriers between 'us' and 'them.' A start would be to recognize the equal moral value of every human being on earth, regardless of the many labels we choose to place on each other - this would be a powerful act of love which would go a long way to evaporating hatred.

Change the rules or change the game? American inequality

It is startling to see the wealth inequality in America and to note that America has one of the fastest growing GINI coefficients in the world, i.e. it is becoming more unequal faster than most other countries.  I know all about inequality, after all my home country, South Africa, is without a doubt one of the most unequal societies on earth.  But just like South Africa's inequality is no mistake, it appears to me that America's inequality too is by design ... but perhaps not in a way that Americans would be happy to admit.

In America, inequality is acceptable.  It is even desirable.  In fact, it is designed into society.  Let me explain.

America has embraced the idea of competition ... everything is a competition - reality shows, obsession with competitive sport, grading systems from the time kids are born, ranking tables and top 10's for almost everything.  Competition is seen as good.  Winners are celebrated and revered.  And what creates inequality other than consistent winners and consistent losers.

The complaints about America's inequality doesn't seem to be about inequality at all, rather it is about envy.  No-one is calling for a change to the economic system.  I haven't heard many calls for socialism which is one of the most effective ways to eliminate or temper widespread inequality.  So competition is good, winners are good, wealth is good, as long as I am the one with the wealth.  It is not the shape of the distribution curve which seems to be the problem but the population distribution across the curve, i.e. who stands where across the wealth distribution. 

What has the political and societal response been?  Change the rules of the game, i.e. punish the winners and patronise the losers.  This creates a perverse game where vigorous competition is encouraged then at the end of the game some of the winners medals are taken from the winners and given to the losers.  With these rules everyone loses.  So what is needed?  Not to change the rules of this old game but to create a new game! 

A game where competition isn't everything.  Where the goal is not to produce winners and losers.  A game that does not advantage some and disadvantage others.  A game that does not produce the inequality that is so undesirable.  Are Americans ready to experiment with creating such a game? A game that will not just distribute wealth more equitably but more importantly, ensure that dignity is maximised for all citizens.  Such a game could be the saviour of America's soul and be the greatest export ever.  

Privilege, wealth and ...

I have unimaginable privileges, too vast to enumerate.  But it is not this acknowledgement from which I draw pleasure, contrary to what small-brained modern society would suggest, pleasure is derived from sharing these privileges.  It is in the sharing that we recognise our wealth and our poverty; only in selfless exchange can your riches temper my poverty and my riches fill the hole of your poverty.  I am not describing a lowly economic system, I am celebrating the lofty magic of friendship. 

A Knock At My Door

The clearest indicator of a failing regime is its escalating violence towards its citizens. The 1980’s saw the most intense, violent clampdown by the South African government on any opposition to their racist apartheid policies. The number of internal security laws mushroomed giving the police and army carte blanche to trample all over the lives of ordinary citizens and violate human rights with impunity, as if apartheid was not sufficient violation of the human rights of the majority of South Africans. Anyone showing any resistance was classified a terrorist and was treated as such. The government declared a state of emergency in 1986 with predictable morbid results - large numbers of black South Africans were violently assaulted, tortured and detained without trial, if they were lucky; the unlucky ones simply disappeared down unused mineshafts or were killed and buried in government-run death farms like Vlakplaas. Victims’ families told stories of hearing a knock on the door of their house followed by a rush of terror. Just as we see today in many parts of the world, the ones labeling others “terrorist” are most often the greatest terrorists of all.

 

On 17 November 1988, I heard such a knock at my door …

 

I was an 18 year old engineering student who was identified as a “terrorist” by the Security Branch of the South African Police, apartheid’s elite squad responsible for interrogating and torturing anti-apartheid activists. At midnight, armed with assault weapons and dressed for combat, a squad of ten policemen rushed into my university dormitory room; I let out a sickening, desperate cry; within seconds I stood with my face shoved into the wall of my kitchen with the hard metal of a gun pressed against the back of my head. They screamed instructions and questions into my ears but I couldn’t comprehend what was being said … I discovered that the falling spirit weakens all bodily functions. I was beaten and verbally abused. The slightest movement or murmur invited fists into my lower back. Something inside me collapsed, I knew I was going to die. It is a great act of evil to break a young man’s spirit and rob him of innocence.

Less than an hour earlier I’d been sitting at my desk writing in my journal about the day’s events – “attended a Mechanics study session,” “worked through Physics,” “got help with my computer project.” I end the entry with “I’m very worried about exams.” 

But, of course, I didn’t die. They trashed the apartment, went through my letters, journal, photos, all my personal belongings. They appeared confused. They spoke among themselves, got on their radios, flipped through a mug-shot book looking up at me periodically. They had the wrong person. 

Looking back, I was angry about the whole incident. Angry that the police could dish out such terror, terror that fractured something within me. Angry at the indignity. I hate the way I screamed and the way I shook. I hate the fact that my eyes filled with tears. I wish I had been bolder, more brave. That I had said something strong and challenging rather than stutter and whimper like I did. But I was afraid. I was filled with fear … just like the men who stood there threatening my life, just like the men and women who had sent them.

 

We must all choose how we will respond to gangsters, to rapists, to domestic abusers, to dictators, to oppressors, to the cowards intent on taking from us what we hold most dear. I choose to stand, defiantly. In 1999, I wrote the poem, Still Standing as my statement of defiance, and as a statement of defiance for all of us who have had evil rain upon us but who have decided not to be defeated.

 

Watch the 1 minute video of Still Standing   

 

This incident had a happy ending for me, I was alive, an outcome different to many of my brothers and sisters during apartheid. I am no longer angry about this incident. I have forgiven those men, in fact, I would gladly meet with them to offer them a hand of friendship. But I continue to be angry about injustice, about human rights abuses and violations of dignity no matter what form it takes and no matter where it happens. I am still standing and I encourage all those currently suffering to find the strength to stay standing. Let’s stand together!

Hopeful justice

If someone takes from you, repay this act not with revenge or acts of retrieval; rather repay it by giving more to them.  Or give something to another person. In this way, you have righted the wrong.  You will not right the wrong done to you, but you have balanced the forces of good and bad in the universe.

www.aeballakisten.com

Words

Hands touch the flesh ...
but words touch the spirit ...
Touch is powerful and beautiful,
but it passes.
The power and beauty of words
never cease.